Moving out of your return to work comfort zone

Last Saturday, I had my first experience of appearing on a live radio show, to talk about our work at Women Returners. Although I'm very comfortable with talking to all sorts of audiences about what we do and why we do it and have had a small amount of media training, it was still daunting to be appearing live on a public broadcast. But I did it - and enjoyed it!

This experience made me reflect how easy it is to stay in our comfort zones, generally, and specifically how remaining in our comfort zone can be a barrier to a finding a way back to work. There are many things we know we 'should' do which will help with our return (and this blog is full of ideas and advice) but if these things feel uncomfortable and difficult we make excuses and don't do them.

Three zones not one
It is useful to think about three zones of experience. In your comfort zone, you feel safe and unchallenged and possibly slightly bored. In your stretch zone, you feel slightly unsafe and nervous and there is also some excitement at doing something a bit different. In your panic zone you feel out-of-your depth, scared and unhappy.  

What might you be doing that keeps you in your return to work comfort zone?
- not calling a former colleague to arrange a coffee
- delaying putting your LinkedIn profile online
- filling your days with chores, volunteering and looking after others
- not putting yourself forward for a strategic volunteering opportunity
- not going to events or conferences in your area of interest

How can you move into your stretch zone but not your panic zone?

Sometimes we need something or someone to give us a push to do something that takes us out of our comfort zone and into our stretch zone. This was certainly true of the radio interview: I hadn't actively sought the opportunity but when it came along I decided to go for it. As I reflected on the experience, there were quite a few things which helped me to make the move out of my comfort zone, without going into my panic zone, which will be useful to in your return to work activities:

1. Small steps. This first interview was with a small local radio station, far from where I lived so I didn't feel my reputation was at stake and nor was it a 'make or break' opportunity for the business.
2. Mindset. I decided to treat the interview as an experiment and an opportunity to learn.  This mindset made it possible to be open to the experience and not judge myself too harshly on how I performed.
3. Realistic expectations. Alongside my mindset, I chose to set my expectations at a reasonable level for me. I didn't have to be perfectly fluent in the interview, I could be 'good enough'. It was OK to make mistakes because I would learn from them for next time.
4. Preparation. Even though I only managed to do this at the last minute, I spent the journey to the studio writing out bullet point answers to the questions I was expecting to be asked. Having thought through what I would say in advance and having my notes in front of me gave me focus and helped me to stay calm. I had also listened to the previous week's programme so I had some idea of the format of the radio show and the style of the presenter.
5. Enlist a buddy. Sharing the experience with Julianne made a big difference. I wasn't alone and I had someone to give me a boost if I needed it.
6. Celebrate success. By acknowledging that I had achieved what I set out to do, it reinforced the possibility that I could continue to stretch myself. It is great to know that I will never face my first radio interview again!

These six components are applicable to every return to work situation whether it is attending a networking event, calling a former contact or putting your self forward for a new role. What are you ready to do to move out of your job search comfort zone?

Posted by Katerina - Co-founder Women Returners

If you want to listen to the broadcast, click here

Are you worrying too much about returning to work?

Some people thinking about returning to work find they are consumed by worries. These often start with 'What if...?'

What if ....  I can't do this work anymore?
What if ...   no-one will employ me anymore? 

What if ....  my children/partner/family miss me?

What if ....  I'm not able to take time off for emergencies?

What if ...  I can't find a flexible role in my field?
What if ...  I fail?

What if ...  I can't get good childcare?

The volume and variety of doubts and fears can be enough to cause paralysis and prevent any further progress with activities that might eventually lead to a new role.  Everything feels too risky.

Getting beyond worry

If you are finding that your worries crowd in every time you think about how to return to work, what can you do?

• Write down all your worries.  Getting them out of your head and seeing them written down can reduce their power over you.  Some of them might seem more manageable once you lay them out.
• Talk your worries through with a trusted friend or your partner. Articulating your concerns, and investigating them with a compassionate and understanding companion, can help you to see them from a new perspective and loosen their hold on you.
• Ask yourself 'What's the worst that can happen?' - you might find it is not so bad.
• Think about how you could test out your worry with an experiment which feels less risky.  For example: take a refresher training course or find a small volunteer project to remind you of your professional skills; commit to an activity you enjoy which means you are unavailable to your family for a fixed, regular but small amount of time and see how they cope.
• Remember that worries and doubts are normal in any change, so don't wait for them to go away before taking action.
• If your worries stem from needing to let go of certain domestic roles or jobs that you have always held, work out how you might be able to delegate or renegotiate and get some practice.
• For more ideas and to address specific worries, take a look at our posts on being a martyr or perfectionist, feeling selfish, regaining confidence and being overly self-critical.

Posted by Katerina