Family-friendly rather than fulfilling work?

Why do our imaginations desert us when we're considering our job options after a long career break? There are 949 job occupations listed in the O*Net database, yet there's only one that is mentioned consistently in the career conversations I have with returning women: Teacher.

Some of you may be inspired by the day-to-day reality of creating lesson plans and motivating a class of schoolchildren. But from my experience, you're in the small minority. For most women thinking about teaching, the strongest appeal is the long holidays and a belief that it will 'fit with the family'. 

Are you asking yourself the wrong question?

This isn't the moment to go into the realities of teaching (which can be far from family-friendly as there is almost no flexibility about where and when you work). The point is that you may be starting with the wrong question. Rather than "What job is family friendly?", ask yourself "What job will I find fulfilling and energising?", then work out how you can make it family-friendly. Going back to work after a break is a wonderful opportunity to pause and consider what you really want to do: what motivates you, what do you most enjoy doing, what do you have a real pull towards? Do you need to retrain or can you create a role in your old field or something similar that fits with your family life.

Why is this important?

Working will inevitably make your life more complicated; the trade-off of work for family time needs to feel worthwhile. As I've mentioned before, research shows that satisfying work can make for a happier home life and give you more energy as a parent. If standing up in front of a class of 30 children day in day out brings you out in a cold sweat rather than brings a smile to your face, then you're likely to feel drained and exhausted as a teacher and the long holidays will never compensate. This is not the route to work-family balance. And the same 'Will it be energising for me?" test applies to any other positions you are considering.

Is it this a realistic strategy?

Our experience working with returners and the success stories on our blog demonstrate that flexibility can be found in a huge variety of sectors and roles. If you're clear what you want,what you can contribute and the working pattern that will best suit you, then you are far more likely to find and/or negotiate a fulfilling role that gives you the balance you are looking for. 

Is it time to consider a few of the other 948 occupations?

Posted by Julianne

Find your way back to work through Strategic Volunteering

Volunteering is a common activity among former professionals who are on a career break, whether or not they wish to return to work at some point. Charities, PTAs and local campaigns are always in need of additional support and committed people: for women on a career break they can provide the companionship and sense of purpose that they previously found in their career, as well as essential flexibility.

It is very easy to fill your time with voluntary roles, especially once your children are in school and you can quickly feel very busy, productive and valued.  If you are thinking of returning to work at some stage, though, it is worth thinking about volunteering that can help you with your return either through developing your existing skills or acquiring new ones and, additionally, building your network. This is what we mean by strategic volunteering - work that does more than just make you feel that you are giving something back.

We have worked with many women for whom strategic volunteering was their launch-pad back to work. In some cases this was a deliberate approach and in others, there was a more organic development with the woman discovering a new interest or uncovering a previously hidden talent. You will find more details about some of these examples in our success stories. 

These returners planned their volunteering deliberately as a route back to work: 

Sue* was a volunteer Games Maker Selection interviewer, with me, for the London 2012 Olympics and Paralympics. She'd previously had a career in HR and used the opportunity of our weekly shift to connect with the London 2012 HR team to find out about other permanent roles in the organisation. Three months into our volunteering she was employed there.

Amy* a former City lawyer volunteered in the legal department of a national charity, advising on contractual matters which was her expertise. After some months she negotiated a move to the trusts and legacy team where she built the knowledge and expertise that enabled her to apply for employment in her target area of private client practice.

In our success stories you can read about Caroline Boyd who joined the Parent Gym as a volunteer trainer/facilitator following a 4 year break from a career in marketing. She loved this new type of work so much that after a year she successfully applied for a permanent training role with the Mind Gym, the commercial arm.

Lynda* a former radio producer used a series of volunteer roles as stepping stones to a new career, starting from the school PTA where she ran a portfolio of increasingly successful fundraising and social events for a number of years. Having regained her professional confidence she volunteered as the campaign manager for a London mayoral candidate, using her journalistic instincts to develop an effective PR campaign from a standing start. Armed with this experience and many new contacts, Lynda was employed by a new political party to manage its PR activity.

If you have a strategic volunteering success story to share, we'd love to hear it!

*names have been changed

Posted by Katerina

Tackling return-to-work fears and doubts: how to stop your brain getting in your way

Return-to-Work Fears & Doubts
We have supported a large number of women considering returning to work after a long break. Many of the same worries & doubts loom large:
What if ... I can't do what I did before? I try and fail? No-one wants to employ me with a big CV gap? I can't find a good flexible job / affordable childcare? My brain's gone to mush.
I'm just being selfish. I feel guilty about wanting to work ...
However much we want to get back to work, these fears and doubts can stop us in our tracks. And we find ourselves in the same stuck place a year later wondering why we haven't made any progress

Recognise your Negativity Bias & Inner Critic
We're smart women - we're used to thinking our way out of a difficult situation. But in this case your mind may be your biggest problem rather than your problem-solver. Understanding a bit about our mental make-up explains why.

1. We have a 'negativity bias'. As the neuropsychologist Rick Hanson says,our minds are like Velcro for the negative & Teflon for the positive. Negative thoughts stick in our brains while the positive ones just roll off.

There is a reason for this. Our brains evolved to keep us safe in the time of woolly mammoths. They're primed to scan the environment for danger and to shout out all the risks. Better err on the side of caution than be someone's lunch. 

So when you're thinking about making a major change like going back to work after a long break & maybe changing career direction, your mind left to its own devices may well tell you DON'T DO IT! Your thoughts will naturally focus on all the reasons why not and all the downsides.

2. Alongside the negativity, your 'inner critic' fires up as the self-critical soundtrack inside your head judges you harshly ...
I'm being selfish for wanting to work
My children will suffer if I leave them
I won't be good-enough if I can't give 100% 
The subtext of all of these - I'm a Bad Mother if I go back to work.

As we tend to believe our minds, we see these thoughts as facts and make our decisions as if they were the truth. So we stay put and don't make a change. And we feel reassured for a while because the fears go away. But we're still not happy and fulfilled ...

Balance the negativity
The good news is that we can balance the negativity. Don't try to get rid of your negative thoughts & Always Think Positive- you'll be fighting a losing battle. Aim instead to create a more balanced view:
1. Listen to your negative thoughts and inner critical voices. Write them down to get them out of your head & weigh them up
2. Consider what evidence you have to support them and challenge yourself to find evidence against them
3. Tune down the negative 'Radio doom & gloom' in your head by not paying it so much attention
4. Create more helpful messages & tune these up by reminding yourself of them frequently
   I've lost all my work skills => I still have my old skills, they just need sharpening up
   I'm being selfish => my family will benefit if I'm happier and have more energy for them
5. Remind yourself of your strengths and achievements. Write them down
6. For every job option you consider write down why it could work as well as why not

Reduce your fears by taking steps forward
Fears are normal in any change. You really do have to Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway! (a great book by the way). Stop over-thinking & start taking action. Get practical and emotional support: even strong women need help to change! Focus less on the speed of the change and more on keeping moving forward. And read the 'routes back to work' posts on our blog for tips on the many actions you can take.

Related Posts
Do all working mothers have to feel guilty?
Do mothers need to Ban Selfish?
Are you your own worst enemy?
Stop thinking and start doing

Posted by Julianne

Morgan Stanley launches UK 'returnship' programme

We are delighted to report a new UK 'returnship' programme.

Morgan Stanley has just launched the Return to Work Programme London, a paid 12–week internship for professionals who have taken a career break and are looking to re-enter the workforce on a permanent basis. 
Note: application deadline is Sunday 15th June 2014

Location 
The programme is based principally at the Firm’s London offices

Dates
24 September - 17 December 2014 

Opportunities
Participants will be placed based on their skills and interests. A limited number of opportunities exist across the Firm in Commodities, Fixed Income, Finance, Global Capital Markets, Human Resources, Institutional Equities, Internal Audit, Investment Banking, Investment Management, Legal and Compliance, Operations, Research and Technology. On completion of the Programme, participants may receive an offer of permanent employment.

Qualifications, Skills and Requirements

• Around five years or more experience in the financial services industry or other relevant areas
• Interested in returning to the workforce on a permanent basis
• Excellent leadership, interpersonal and communication skills
• Problem solvers with strong analytical skills

Application Process and Deadlines

For further information and to apply see www.morganstanley.com/returntowork

The deadline is Sunday 15 June, 2014.

Questions

For any queries, email returntowork_london@morganstanley.com

Posted by Julianne