12 Tips for Women Returners from Mumsnet Workfest

For those of you who were not able to join us at the inspiring Mumsnet Workfest event last Saturday, these are some advice highlights from the keynote panel for women returners.

Clarify your boundaries

1. When you return to work, be clear about where the line in the sand is for you to make it work. Sara Bennison, Marketing Director, Barclays

Make work, work for you

2. Disentangle being present [in the office] from being effective. Sara Bennison, Marketing Director, Barclays

3. Be clear about your red lines and explain how you will still do your job. Work out what are the things you need to do, to do it differently. Jo Swinson, former MP and Business and Equalities Minister

4. Success at work is about productivity, not bums on seats. Karen Blackett, CEO MediaComUK

Network & target employers

5. Your network counts, it really is [often] who you know, not what you know. Sara Bennison, Marketing Director, Barclays

6. Make a personal connection when you're applying to a company [to avoid sending your CV into the wilderness]. Shami Chakrabarti, Director Liberty

7. It's a better use of your time to send 3 well-researched letters to a company [than scattergun job applications]. Jo Swinson, former MP and Business and Equalities Minister

Prioritise

8. Pick the bits that matter to you [at home & work] and drop or delegate the others. Gaby Hinsliff, Journalist & author of Half a Wife

Be yourself

9. Be authentic in what you do. Authenticity is the key to success. Karen Blackett, CEO MediaComUK

Be confident

10. Having a child is the most difficult and important thing you do. If you can look after a child you can do anything. Shami Chakrabarti, Director Liberty

11. It does come back, it is still there in your brain. It will be fine, it will come flooding back to you. Jo Swinson, former MP and Business and Equalities Minister

Get support

12. Ask for help from other mums to make it work. Find cheerleaders in your organisation to help you with flexibility. Karen Blackett, CEO MediaComUK


If you're London-based & regret missing our Workfest session on kick-starting your return to work, do look at the other return-to-work events we have coming up this month: wrpn.womenreturners.com/events/ 

Posted by Katerina

Tackling return-to-work fears and doubts: how to stop your brain getting in your way

Return-to-Work Fears & Doubts
We have supported a large number of women considering returning to work after a long break. Many of the same worries & doubts loom large:
What if ... I can't do what I did before? I try and fail? No-one wants to employ me with a big CV gap? I can't find a good flexible job / affordable childcare? My brain's gone to mush.
I'm just being selfish. I feel guilty about wanting to work ...
However much we want to get back to work, these fears and doubts can stop us in our tracks. And we find ourselves in the same stuck place a year later wondering why we haven't made any progress

Recognise your Negativity Bias & Inner Critic
We're smart women - we're used to thinking our way out of a difficult situation. But in this case your mind may be your biggest problem rather than your problem-solver. Understanding a bit about our mental make-up explains why.

1. We have a 'negativity bias'. As the neuropsychologist Rick Hanson says,our minds are like Velcro for the negative & Teflon for the positive. Negative thoughts stick in our brains while the positive ones just roll off.

There is a reason for this. Our brains evolved to keep us safe in the time of woolly mammoths. They're primed to scan the environment for danger and to shout out all the risks. Better err on the side of caution than be someone's lunch. 

So when you're thinking about making a major change like going back to work after a long break & maybe changing career direction, your mind left to its own devices may well tell you DON'T DO IT! Your thoughts will naturally focus on all the reasons why not and all the downsides.

2. Alongside the negativity, your 'inner critic' fires up as the self-critical soundtrack inside your head judges you harshly ...
I'm being selfish for wanting to work
My children will suffer if I leave them
I won't be good-enough if I can't give 100% 
The subtext of all of these - I'm a Bad Mother if I go back to work.

As we tend to believe our minds, we see these thoughts as facts and make our decisions as if they were the truth. So we stay put and don't make a change. And we feel reassured for a while because the fears go away. But we're still not happy and fulfilled ...

Balance the negativity
The good news is that we can balance the negativity. Don't try to get rid of your negative thoughts & Always Think Positive- you'll be fighting a losing battle. Aim instead to create a more balanced view:
1. Listen to your negative thoughts and inner critical voices. Write them down to get them out of your head & weigh them up
2. Consider what evidence you have to support them and challenge yourself to find evidence against them
3. Tune down the negative 'Radio doom & gloom' in your head by not paying it so much attention
4. Create more helpful messages & tune these up by reminding yourself of them frequently
   I've lost all my work skills => I still have my old skills, they just need sharpening up
   I'm being selfish => my family will benefit if I'm happier and have more energy for them
5. Remind yourself of your strengths and achievements. Write them down
6. For every job option you consider write down why it could work as well as why not

Reduce your fears by taking steps forward
Fears are normal in any change. You really do have to Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway! (a great book by the way). Stop over-thinking & start taking action. Get practical and emotional support: even strong women need help to change! Focus less on the speed of the change and more on keeping moving forward. And read the 'routes back to work' posts on our blog for tips on the many actions you can take.

Related Posts
Do all working mothers have to feel guilty?
Do mothers need to Ban Selfish?
Are you your own worst enemy?
Stop thinking and start doing

Posted by Julianne

Mumsnet Workfest - advice for women returners

For those of you who were not at the Mumsnet Workfest last Saturday, these are some of the advice highlights we picked out for women returning after a career break.

Developing your confidence

Businesses value you for what you give to them. Be clear what you can offer and know your value and your USP. Fake the confidence if you don't have it yet. Lorraine Candy, ELLE Magazine

Have confidence in yourself and believe that you have something to offer in the workplace. Know your skills and know what you bring. Karen Mattison, Timewise

Organisations to target

SME's are more likely to be open to flexible working than the largest companies which use this option mostly to retain someone they don't want to lose. Karen Mattison 

Some of the larger financial institutions and consultancies are leading the way in designing programmes for returners.  A recent example is Bank of America. Others include RBS, UBS, Citi, HSBC as well as KPMG and Centrica

Making contacts

Surround yourself with people who want to help you. Articulate what you want help with. Be specific. Nothing is stronger than personal recommendation. Karen Lynch CEO Belu Water

Applying for jobs

Don't be put off applying for an advertised role because it states that it is full time.  If the employer wants you, you have an opportunity to negotiate for flexibility which can come in many forms.  Before you launch into negotiation, check out the culture of the firm and how it views flexible working and develop the business case. Karen Mattison

In your covering letter directly address any concerns about your career break, including how you have kept your skills and knowledge up-to-date and are the perfect candidate. Justine Roberts, Mumsnet

Testimonials are powerful - include with your CV. Amanda Mackenzie, Aviva

And generally ...

Focus on your thing, the thing you are best at, and don't get distracted by what others are doing. Thomasina Myers, Founder Wahaca

Posted by Katerina & Julianne